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  • Writer's pictureWomen's Well Being Magazine

5 ways to rekindle the romance in your relationship

Do you feel like the love has gone out of your marriage or courtship and you’re looking for a way to rekindle the flame of love? Please be assured that you are not alone. With a little bit of creativity and sacrifice, you may find yourself more in love today than you were when you first met if you apply these 5 key suggestions.

  1. Do the former things

Think back to when you first started courting your partner. Do you remember how eager you were to get to know them better? What were some of the things you did to kindle the love? You probably stayed on the phone talking for hours. You may have done your best to stay physically fit and attractive. You were more than likely more forgiving and kind because you wanted to give your new found relationship a chance. So, you probably apologized more often, spoke sweeter, softer and kinder. Perhaps you traveled or tried to visit new eateries etc.

The point is, go back to that time and do those things again! Why not make a list as a couple of all the things you did in the beginning of your relationship that helped you fall in love and start implementing them one by one!

We may not be as young and may not have as much time but by giving of our time to do the things we did formerly, we communicate to our partner that we are still in love with them and that we feel blessed to have them in our life.

2. Know what your partner needs and wants

Men like to know that they are valued for their talents and hard work. So, women be sure to let your man know that you appreciate his talent and hard work. Ask him questions about things that interest him. He will begin to see that you are interested in him personally and you may find that his one or two word responses are not because he doesn't love you but because he simply is not interested in the topic you are talking about. When you ask him what he's thinking, when he says ‘nothing,’ he is not lying. Men can literally stare off into space and be thinking about nothing! So, don’t take it personal. Instead, take a personal interest in him and find a reason to compliment him.

Women want to feel heard and valued for who they are and all that they contribute in the relationship. Women tend to think deeper over some subjects that men do not pay any attention to. That being the case, you as a man must be determined to step out of your comfort zone and embrace the subjects and topics that interest her. As you do, find real ways to personally connect with her by asking her questions about her feelings and thoughts and really listen when she gives you the answer. This will also help you understand what your partner needs and wants and you will learn how to make her truly happy.

Note: When you repeat back to your partner what you understand from what they said, this can go a long way at reassuring them that you really are paying attention to them.

3. Know when to say nothing

Sometimes the best response is to say nothing. Times are getting harder for everyone and your partner is also experiencing the increasing stress of day to day living. That being the case, sometimes the best thing you can give your partner is the benefit of the doubt and to say nothing. That may be easier said than done if you are great at the ‘comebacks’ when someone starts to test you. However, your partner will appreciate it in the long run when you ignore their irrational or emotional comments said in the heat of anger and frustration. When things have calmed down perhaps on another day at another time, you can bring up the subject and express how thoughtless words spoken make you feel. You may find that your partner will readily apologize and work harder to better communicate.

4. Express affection in private and public

Everyone wants to feel like they are loved and valued. That is especially true in a relationship. Expressing your affection in words and actions is a powerful way to remind your partner that you are proud of them and proud to be with them. It could be something as simple as holding hands in public. It could be as romantic as a kiss under the falling sun in the evening or as subtle as a backrub on the sofa while you watch a movie.

Not to be ignored are words of affection. So, say the words “I love you” often. The word “I love you” is not only a way for you to express your love for your partner but it is also a way for them to grow in love for you. The reassuring words can be just what your partner needs to feel the love or to solidify the love for you that they feel in their heart, in turn making your relationship stronger.

5. Be romantic & spontaneous

You don’t have to recite Shakespeare to be considered romantic and you don’t have to take a trip to Paris to be spontaneous. Romance starts in the heart. The dictionary defines romance as “a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” So, keep a little mystery in your relationship. When things become too predictable, the mystery in love and the romance in the relationship may die. So, change things up from time to time. Try a few of these things to keep the romance alive!

  • Go out on date nights (Ideas: Dinner Reservations, Indoor Rock Climbing, Wine Tour, Apple Picking, Kayaking, Hiking, Electric Scooter at beach, etc)

  • Dinner at home under candlelight

  • Bring home flowers ( A different type of flower each week with a note)

  • Random kisses on the neck just because.

  • Randomly show up to partners work with lunch or for a lunch date!

  • Ask your man to fix something around the house and tell him how strong and valuable he is to you while he’s doing it. Be sure to thank him with a warm hug and kiss of expressed appreciation.

  • Ask your woman to fix a meal like only she can and be sure to praise her while she works hard in the kitchen, turn on some romantic music and dance with her while she works in the kitchen.

I could literally go on all day but for the sake of time I'll say this. Get creative and enjoy rekindling the love in your relationship. It’s a combination of words, actions and expressions of love. When consistent and done in a spirit of love, you will find that the effort was worth it in the end. As couples begin to approach you and ask just how you were able to maintain the love for so long be sure to remind them that love is an eternal gift and when fully embraced anything is possible.


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